I've been a little silent lately. It's probably because I'm feeling super stressed right now. I know that I was prompted to go to BYUI but I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Normally, I would be okay with this. I've started getting used to God's "R'ki, you need to learn how to fly by the seat of your pants" plan but this time I'm struggling because I know I have a less-than-two-months deadline.

Thank you to everyone who has tried to help me over the past few days. I really appreciate it. At the same time, I'm still completely overwhelmed. My biggest problem, I think, is that the online helps are very unhelpful. Plus, there's so many unorganized links that I find it hard to know where I'm supposed to go to even find what I need. It's just all kinds of frustrating.

In other news I've been going on dates which is kind of nice and slightly stressful! There was one date I went on that was really nice but I had a big moment of anxiety the next day (which was dumb, by the way, but that's anxiety for you; it never makes sense). I talked to my friend Megan about it and she was super helpful and supportive and basically told me what I needed to hear. Which usually consists of "R'ki, you're thinking too much and you're stuck in your head again. Stop it."

The guy hasn't contacted me since then but I'm still grateful for the date. It helped me realize that I do have the capacity to have a normal, healthy relationship.

vvv MOST IMPORTANT SECTION!! vvv

Kay now I'm coming to my final mention here. For those of you who don't know, I'm turning 23 August 9th. 8D Which is awesome! I love my birthday! But usually I don't ever tell anyone on the interwebs that I'm even HAVING a birthday because I don't like to feel greedy and be like "hey, y'all should give me presents." But this birthday I'm making a small exception.

Guys, I really need money for school. The idea of not having enough finances to pay for school terrifies me. I have some money in my savings that will (thankfully) give me a small buffer but it will only stretch so far. Before you ask, yes, I applied for Financial Aid but because I came into the BYUI game so late it might not reach my school in time. Also, my parents don't have the means to provide for me (no matter how much they wish they did) so I'm combating school all on my own.

Some of you might suggest going the route of student loans but that's something I want to avoid at all costs. To me, debt is of the devil no matter how much people try to prettify it. If you have the means to help me than please do. If you're struggling financially, than don't worry about it. I know what it's like to struggle. I've been there. However, if you plan on getting me something for my birthday, I'd prefer money for school over a new dvd or t-shirt or something. 

^^^ MOST IMPORTANT SECTION ^^^

Thanks, everyone, for reading through this! I don't know if my blog posts are ever that interesting but at least they keep some of y'all updated on my life, right? Or at least a little entertained? XD Hope y'all have an awesome day! Keep fighting the good fight!